Not Again! The Musical Sequel
by UmVe
Summary: Epstein and Mary-Sue have began their evil scheme. The dreaded sequel of It's So Hard To Be A Teen-Mutant-Superhero. ScottJean, Lancitty, Kodd and RogueWanda.
1. Scene 1 The Begining

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I disclaim all things.  
  
Author's Note: I'm back! (collective gaps of horror) Yes! As promised I'm making the sequel to It's So Hard To Be A Teen-Mutant-Superhero. This time I'm only using songs from animated movies (another gasp of horror). I'm allways open for suggestions, so you guys can tell me if there's a song you'd like to see in this fic.  
  
1. SCENE: The beginning- A good place to start  
  
The Institute  
  
(SCOTT, JEAN, PIETRO, ROGUE, LANCE, KITTY, KURT, TODD and FRED, now known as The X-Factored Group of Non-Drinking Aged Pro-Diversity Super Persons, enter)  
  
*UNITED WE STAND (Quest for Camelot)*  
  
*ALL*  
  
United we stand  
  
Now and forever  
  
In truth, divided we fall  
  
Hand upon hand  
  
Brother to brother  
  
No one shall be greater than all  
  
United we stand  
  
Now and forever  
  
In truth, divided we fall  
  
Hand upon hand  
  
Brother to brother  
  
No one shall be greater than all  
  
It's been four weeks we celebrate  
  
All that made us heroes great  
  
Liberty and Justice for all  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Each of us will now choose  
  
To take which one of these rooms  
  
Promising equality for all who reside!  
  
*ALL*  
  
United we stand  
  
Now and forever  
  
In truth, divided we fall  
  
Hand upon hand  
  
Brother to brother  
  
No one shall be greater than all  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
Liberty!  
  
*TODD*  
  
Justice!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Trust!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Shall be greater than all  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Freedom!  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Peace!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Honour!  
  
*ALL*  
  
No one greater than all  
  
*KURT*  
  
Goodness!  
  
*FRED*  
  
Strength!  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Valour!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Shall be greater than all  
  
(The phone rings)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Hello? Oh, professor... No, we weren't singing... Uh-huh... Okay... Yeah...What?... Why?... Okay...Bye.  
  
JEAN:  
  
What?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
The professor called.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Duh, we like know that. What did he like say?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
He and the other adults are still on their "important mission".  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Important mission, or roadtrip? Don't they realize that we could use some help here? Just beacause the mob doesn't remember that we're mutants doesn't mean that they'll stop... you know.. beeing a mob.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, zey're still a big problem for us.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I guess. Too bad they burned down your house.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I'm surprised they were able to burn it. The place was so soggy that I thought it couldn't catch fire.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, you guys are welcome to stay here.  
  
FRED:  
  
So? We've been living here for about a month now anyway.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yeah, but now you get to have your own rooms.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Finally! At last I won't have listen to Kitty and Lance making out every night.  
  
LANCE:  
  
And we won't have to listen to you making out with Gabriel every night.  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray!  
  
KURT:  
  
Come on Todd, lets go pick a room for you.  
  
TODD:  
  
But I like sleeping in your's, yo. If we'd ever get any actual sleep done, that is.  
  
(KURT and TODD bamf away)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Let go too Lance!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Allright! I'm getting some tonight!  
  
(KITTY and LANCE exit)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I'm going to mobe about my down in the dumps life.  
  
(ROGUE exits)  
  
FRED:  
  
I'm going to... just go. But I'm not going eating, if that's what you think!  
  
(FRED exits)  
  
(SCOTT and JEAN look at PIETRO)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
What?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Shouldn't you go somewhere?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
No.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Okay, we can have this discussion with you here, I guess.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Wish we could do something about that mob. Soon they'll destroy everything in town, including the Mall.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Not the Mall! Anything but the Mall!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You're right-  
  
JEAN:  
  
I allways am.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
But what can we do? Besides, they'll run out of energy soon. And without Epstein around we'll be safe.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I don't know, Scott. I have a bad feeling about this all. A sort sense of forthcoming doom.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Nah, you're just feeling that way cause of the pie you ate at school.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
It made everybody gassy.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I don't think I had any pie.  
  
(Dramatic music!)  
  
Author's Note: Yep, lame chappy... I promise I'll do better next time. 


	2. Scene 2 An Evil Apparition

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Still not mine, but wait until it comes on sale at Ebay.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry to keep you waiting, damn test-week... I had a hard time deciting what I'd put in the second chapter... Oh well, if you only live once then here we go.  
  
SCENE 2- An evil apparition  
  
Bayville High  
  
(KELLY is at his office)  
  
KELLY:  
  
I really have to think about getting a home. Who knows how long till the faculty realizes that I've been sleeping here all the time.  
  
EERIE VOICE:  
  
Kelly...  
  
KELLY:  
  
Oh no. The voices are back...  
  
(a SCARY FIGURE appears)  
  
KELLY:  
  
Great, now I'm seeing things. It's all the mutants fault. Making me paranoid and forget my first name...  
  
SCARY FIGURE:  
  
Kelly, you have failed me.  
  
KELLY:  
  
For a hallucination, you sound familiar.  
  
SCARY FIGURE:  
  
You imbecile! I'm not a hallucination.  
  
(The SCARY FIGURE steps into the light)  
  
KELLY:  
  
My God! Epstein!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes, I have returned.  
  
KELLY:  
  
But I thought you lost to the mutants and... What's that smell?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Damn manure... Anyway, I'm back for revenge!  
  
*NO MORE MR. NICE GUY (The Swan Princess)*  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
Gosh, it's such a hoot to see them quaking  
  
When I'm through they'll treat me with respect  
  
And I can't wait to see their poor hearts breaking  
  
So much for politically correct  
  
Up 'til now I've pulled my punches  
  
I intend to eat their lunches  
  
No more Mr. Nice Guy, not for me  
  
If you think that I'm hard-hearted  
  
Well, let me by, I just got started  
  
No more Mr. Nice Guy, no siree  
  
Vengeance is what I believe in  
  
I don't get mad, I get even  
  
As for the world, well that's tragic  
  
I'm going back to that old black magic  
  
Good behaviour is so much duller  
  
Time to show my one true colour  
  
Baby, Mr. Nice Guy's history  
  
Up to no good, I love plottin'  
  
Yeah, I'm so good when I'm rotten  
  
No more Mr. Nice Guy, wait and see  
  
I'll become that nasty, naughty, petty, spiteful  
  
Wicked, wayward, way delightful  
  
Bad guy I was born to be  
  
KELLY:  
  
So you're going to...  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
That's right. But this time I'll be smarter. This time I shall call forth the most horrific thing in all creation.  
  
KELLY:  
  
What?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You'll see. I was beaten before. But know I'll attack with the power and cunning befitting any great anime-villian. This time I will win. Just you wait!  
  
KELLY:  
  
Till when?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Till the next chapter.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
At the Institute  
  
(SCOTT and PIETRO are at the library, SCOTT is looking out the window and PIETRO is on a computer)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Look at that storm.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I sure am.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
This must the first time I've seen a natural storm since I came here.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
You can't beat that.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What you just said makes no sense.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Yes it does. You can't beat these pictures of Storm I found on the net.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What?!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Yeah, she's all over the place at I-was-young-and-needed-money.com.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
This is too much...  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Yeah, she really shouldn't do things like that with a traffic-cone.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Uuugh.  
  
(SCOTT runs to the nearest toilet)  
  
Author's Note: (giggle) That Storm, she's full of surprises. As for the website, I don't if such a thing exists and I don't want to know. Next up: Epstein summons the most horrific thing in all creation. What could that be? 


	3. Scene 3 The Ultimate Evil

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: What? How, many to I have to say it? It ain't mine!  
  
Author's Note: Time to reveal the awesome terror that lurks within the brain of every fanfic-author. The terror that few of us are able to fight...  
  
SCENE 3- The ultimate evil  
  
Bayville High  
  
(EPSTEIN and KELLY are on their way to the cellar)  
  
KELLY:  
  
What are we doing here?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
We're here to pick up some of granny's good ol' jam.  
  
KELLY:  
  
Really?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
NO! We're here, so that we can use the supersecret portal to the underworld. I shall provoke all the powers of villiandom to bring forth-  
  
KELLY:  
  
Yeah, yeah... "The most horrific thing in all creation".  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Don't you start getting an attitude, or I'll rethink not using you for targetpractice.  
  
KELLY:  
  
I can't even get an attitude. I'm the most uninteresting character in the whole show, an attitude might give me too much depth.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
What? I wasn't listening. God, you're so boring Kelly.  
  
KELLY:  
  
That's what I was telling you about.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Whatever. Soon I'll have the power to destroy those pesky little mutants. Then I'll rule all of Eternia! AH HAH HAA! No, wait... wrong show... I meant all of Bayville! AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
KELLY:  
  
Boy, you've got some puny ambitions.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You fool! Bayville is right on top of a great powersource. The mutant who controls Bayville, can control the world. But only a few mutants can activate the source are me and Rogue.  
  
KELLY:  
  
So that's why you want to get rid of her.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
That, and other reasons...  
  
*IN THE DARK OF THE NIGHT (Anastasia)*  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning  
  
And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be --  
  
It scared me out of my wits --  
  
A villian falling to bits!  
  
Then I opened my eyes  
  
And the nightmare was...me!!  
  
I was once the most mystical man in America.  
  
When the mutants betrayed me they mad a mistake!  
  
My powers made each of them pay  
  
But one little girl got away!  
  
Little Rogy, beware,  
  
Epstein's awake!  
  
*SCARY VOICES*  
  
In the dark of the night evil will find her  
  
In the dark of the night just before dawn!  
  
Aah...  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
Revenge will be sweet  
  
When the curse is complete!  
  
*ALL*  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
She'll be gone!  
  
I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!  
  
Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!  
  
As the pieces fall into place  
  
I'll see her crawl into place!  
  
Goodbye for good, Rogy, your grace, farewell!  
  
*SCARY VOICES*  
  
In the dark of the night terror will strike her!  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
Terror's the least I can do!  
  
*SCARY VOICES*  
  
In the dark of the night evil will brew.  
  
Ooh!  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real.  
  
*ALL*  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
She'll be through!  
  
*SCARY VOICES*  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
Evil will find her  
  
Find her!  
  
Ooh!  
  
In the dark of the night terror comes true.  
  
Doom her!  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
My dear, here's a sign --  
  
*ALL*  
  
It's the end of the line!  
  
*SCARY VOICES*  
  
In the dark of the night...  
  
In the dark of the night...  
  
In the dark of the night...  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
She'll be mine!  
  
(EPSTEIN and KELLY have arrived to a wall, the wall has a sign on it that says: "Big Bad Underworld Portal, not to be used by children under 12 or people allergic to penicillin)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Ah. It's time... In the name of the great villians ever, I implore all powers of evil to bring forth the one, whose might can destroy all forces of goodyness! I beg of you, give me Mary-Sue!  
  
(The Big Bad Underworld Portal opens, in an impressive show of twirly lights and pretty colors, and barfs out MARY-SUE)  
  
KELLY:  
  
My God! She's perfect and yet so horrific!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes... Now, X-Factored Group of Non-Drinking Aged Pro-Diversity Super Persons, you are as good as gone! AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
Author's Note: The horror, the inconceivable horror! What is going to happen to our merry bunch of heroes now? 


	4. Scene 4 Sibling Understanding

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Would I lie to you?  
  
Author's Note: Another week of over all confusion has gone by and it's due time for an update. Hurray for that!  
  
SCENE 4- Sibling understanding- What to do after therapy fails  
  
The Institute  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are having a meeting)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Okay people, settle down.  
  
LANCE:  
  
We weren't making any noise.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Blast! That ruined my opening...  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Can we get to point. I have major sulking-deprivation. It's been two chapters since I've been complaining about how everything in my life sucks.  
  
JEAN:  
  
But you weren't in the last two chapters.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
That is besides the point. The aura of my angst should penetrate every aspect of this show.  
  
KURT:  
  
Heh he he heh.You said penetrate.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Kurt, have you been watching reruns of Beavis & Butt-Head again? I told you to stop, that stuff is bad for your brain.  
  
TODD:  
  
Yo, leave my boyfriend alone. You're allways watch the Osbournes and none of us never tell you to stop.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yes, but that has no affect on my behavior.  
  
(Everyone else rolls their eyes)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Back to the meeting.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Why do we have to have this thing in the middle of the night and during a storm?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Because I'm the supreme being and I say so.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Uh, Scott...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I supreme being!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Jean, you wouldn't happen to have any of that prozak left?  
  
JEAN:  
  
No, sorry.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Anyway, the reason for this meeting is that we have to do something about that mob.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ze bastards burnt down ze burger place and Pizza Hut!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yes. This is a serious matter gang and we must take action!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
You're the one who said we wouldn't have to.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I changed my mind, now we do have to do something about it. I think we should-  
  
(Suddenly, a very wet and angry WANDA enters)  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
WANDA:  
  
I thought I'd find you assholes here.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Sis?!  
  
WANDA:  
  
Don't you sis me you little turd!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Uhh, missed you.  
  
WANDA:  
  
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I came here to make up with you.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Really?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Sure, why else would I be here? All my damn therapies failed. The only thing that worked was the hypno. But now I remember why I was so pissed off at everyone before.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
That's nice.  
  
WANDA:  
  
No it isn't. My head hurts and hate the world even more then before. Now, what the hell are you all doing here?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
It's a LONG story. You better sit down.  
  
Author's Note: Wanda has returned from... wherever she was at. Now what shall happen? You tell me, cause I'm at a loss. 


	5. Scene 5 Haven't We Met Before?

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: How cares about this anymore?  
  
Author's Note: I'm so to sorry I kept you people waiting. But I bring you good news (sort of)! Since the coming week is autumn-vacation in the magical land of "Way Too Many Lakes To Count" (i.e. Finland), I'll have plenty of time to update!  
  
SCENE 5- Haven't we met before?  
  
Bayville High  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. enter)  
  
(Heroic music)  
  
FRED:  
  
I honestly don't see why we need to herioc entrancemusic whenever we come in.  
  
JEAN:  
  
It's an image thing I guess.  
  
WANDA:  
  
I hate this. I don't need to go to school. I allready had my head fucked up in the nuthouse.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
You're lucky. At least you got screwed up by professionals and not by these amateurs.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott, I have that bad feeling again.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Tell me you didn't eat any of the leftover pasta.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I know better then to eat anything that has been in the fridge for over five hours. I'm sure that something is terribly wrong.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Don't worry honey. I'm sure it's just your periods acting up. JEAN:  
  
Scott, not so loud...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Sorry, Jean. Allright men- I mean persons- go and study!  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. disperse)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? Is it so hard to realize that I'm allways right? You'd think they'd know, but NO! Don't listen to the phychicmaster! (sigh)  
  
* SALLY'S SONG/ JEAN'S SONG (Nightmare Before Christmas)*  
  
*JEAN*  
  
I sense there's something in the wind  
  
That feels like tragedy's at hand  
  
And though I'd like to stand by them  
  
Can't shake this feeling that I have  
  
The worst is just around the bend  
  
And do they notice my feelings of dread?  
  
And will they see how much that means to me?  
  
I think it's not to be  
  
What will become of my dear friends?  
  
Where will their actions lead us then?  
  
Although I'd like to join the crowd  
  
In their enthusiastic cloud  
  
Try as I may, it doesn't last  
  
And will I ever sing any longer?  
  
no, I think not, it's never to become  
  
For I'm the lucky one  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile in a shadowy part of the school  
  
(EPSTEIN is talking to MARY-SUE)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
So, now you know what you must do.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Yes. But I'm so wrecked with my numerous inner-conflicts, that I don't know if I should do it.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
If you succeed, you can have anything you want.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
My own character in the show? All the hot males going after me?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Anything.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Then to Hell with righteousness, I'll finally have what I've allways desired!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Good. Go now and do what you best.  
  
(MARY-SUE exits)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Soon! Soon my lord Larry, I shall fulfill my destiny and rule Bayville! AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere in the same house  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd, did you just hear some maniacal laughter?  
  
TODD:  
  
No. But check that shit out, yo!  
  
(DUNCAN and some RANDOM JOCKS are teasing MARY-SUE)  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh, why do you torment me?  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Uuuhh... cause...  
  
RANDOM JOCK:  
  
Cause you're so perfect.  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Duh, yeah...  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh, poor me! Will anyone help me, eventhough I'm independent and could kick their butts if I wanted to, but just not now for some reason?  
  
(SCOTT, LANCE, KURT, TODD and PIETRO rush to the area of teasing)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Unhand her you fiend!  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Duuuh... What? Oh! What if I don't wanna?  
  
JOCKS:  
  
Yeah!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Then I shall- No wait, shouldn't fight at school...  
  
LANCE:  
  
Fuck school, we'll bust your asses!  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Oh yeah? (long thinking-pause) No you won't!  
  
(Suddenly MARY-SUE uses her omnipotent powers to make DUNCAN and the RANDOM JOCKS just walk away)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Hey! Come back here! I still want to beat you!  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
You mustn't fight because of me.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
You look sort of familiar...  
  
KURT:  
  
Haven't ve seen eachother before?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Yeah, like many many times or something?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I don't think so.  
  
KURT:  
  
Funny, I could've sworn ve have...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You have such great powers! Who are you?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I'm Mar- Uh, Marvelous.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You sure are.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Thank you, Scott.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
How did you know my name?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
It's... another one of my powers.  
  
ALL:  
  
Oooh!  
  
MARY-SUE  
  
Well, I must mysteriously go now. Bye!  
  
(MARY-SUE vanishes in a splendorous explosion of pretty lights)  
  
ALL:  
  
Aaaah!  
  
KURT:  
  
I can't help but think that I've met her somewhere before...  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Same here.  
  
Author's Note: Gods! They have no idea of Mary-Sue evil plans! But then again neither have I (Now that's a problem). Anyway, please review, otherwise I'll be a very sad little writer... Next up, Mary-Sue's horrid past and Wanda finds a friend. 


	6. Scene 6 Two Lonely Goths

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Uh...  
  
Author's Note: (sniff) You like me, you really like! Okay, back to the point... I should warn all you innocent people out there, this chappy will have a song that's beyond mushy... "Leave all hope behind, all those who pass here", or whatever it said ontop of some door at Madame Toussaud's.  
  
SCENE 6- Two lonely goths- And one horrid past  
  
The Institute (now dupped The Party Central)  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are having another meeting)  
  
KURT:  
  
Come on Scott, please! It's less zan a month till Christmas and ve haven't made any decidions about ze party yet!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Kurt, calm down. We have more important things to think about.  
  
KURT:  
  
Like what?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, there's the mob-problem, my weird feelings, us runing out of all psychomed, remakes of old cartoonshows and that odd new girl at school.  
  
LANCE:  
  
You mean Marvelous? She's not odd, she's perfect.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, ahem!  
  
LANCE:  
  
But not anywhere near as perfect as you Kitty-Kat.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Good that we like, have that cleared.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Indeed. Now let us go and do random stuff.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later at The Party Central  
  
(WANDA is sulking)  
  
*JACK'S LAMENT/ WANDA'S LAMENT (Nightmare Before Christmas)*  
  
*WANDA*  
  
There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best  
  
For my talents are renowned far and wide  
  
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night  
  
I excel without ever even trying  
  
With the slightest little effort of my gothlike charms  
  
I have seen grown men give out a shriek  
  
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed spark  
  
I have swept the very bravest off their feet  
  
Yet year after year, it's the same routine  
  
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams  
  
And I, Wanda, The Scarlet Witch  
  
Have grown so tired of the same old kitch  
  
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones  
  
An emptiness began to grow  
  
There's something out there, far from my home  
  
A longing that I've never known  
  
I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light  
  
And I'll scare you right out of your pants  
  
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Miss Unlucky  
  
And I'm known throughout England and France  
  
And since I am mad, still at my no-good dad  
  
I'll recite Freudian quotations  
  
No animal nor man can scream like I can  
  
With the fury of my recitations  
  
But who here would ever understand  
  
That the Scarlet Witch with the magical switch  
  
Would tire of her crown, if they only understood  
  
She'd give it all up if she only could  
  
Oh, there's an empty place in my bones  
  
That calls out for something unknown  
  
The fame and praise come year after year  
  
Does nothing for these empty tears  
  
(ROGUE enters)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I hope you stealing my act.  
  
WANDA:  
  
No. Mine is totally different. I sulk and hate everything, you just sulk.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I do other things.  
  
WANDA:  
  
Name one.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I have horny sex with my blowup-doll.  
  
WANDA:  
  
Okay, you win.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Have you ever thought what it would be like to sulk with another person?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Double-sulking? It has crossed my mind at times, but I've never done it.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Do you think...  
  
WANDA:  
  
Yes?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
That we could try it?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Why not? But we won't tell the others right?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
It'll just be between you and me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bayville High  
  
(MARY-SUE, EPSTEIN and KELLY are having some tea) (A/N: Baddies can have tea too you know?)  
  
KELLY:  
  
I've been wondering, how did you come to be Mary-Sue?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh, it is such a sad tale. I do not know if I can tell it, especially in the teatable.  
  
KELLY:  
  
Please?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Very well. Once I was but a little thought within the mind of a preteen girl. But when she began to write fanfiction, I grew and grew, untill I was strong enough to become an oc. Then I was unleashed into the fic where I was perfection itself, even if I had a traumatic past. But soon people started to notice me. Some wanted me gone, but my power over the authors was far too much. I had fed on their stories and nothing could stop me but the characters I loved most. Oh, all this is remembering is making me angsty over my tortured past! I mustn't feel so down. I'm too beautifull and sparkly to be depressed.  
  
*THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER RAINBOW (My Little Ponies Movie)*  
  
*MARY-SUE*  
  
There's always another rainbow... search untill you find it  
  
Don't look at the cloud, look behind it  
  
There's a rainbow there somewhere  
  
There's always a ray of sunshine, though it may seem tragic  
  
You may turn around and like magic  
  
There's an answer to your prayer  
  
Now you feel forlorn, but hope can be reborn  
  
Try to lose the frown... look up, not down  
  
And you'll find another rainbow... I can guarantee it  
  
Even thugh you think you've reached the raibows end  
  
There's always another rainbow  
  
There's always another rainbow, around the bend  
  
(Several dozen birlds fall unconsious outside the window out of sheer horror)  
  
Author's Note: Don't say I didn't warn you. And worse still, there might be another song from the same film coming up, if I start to follow one sub- plot I have in mind. Till we meet again! 


	7. Scene 7 Why You Shouldn't Eat Mexican Fo...

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: (mumble) I'll disclaim you, you....  
  
Author's Note: Look at speed of my updates! Am I feeling really creative or am I just trying to hurry up before the vacations over? We'll see...  
  
SCENE 7- Why you shouldn't eat Mexican food before bedtime  
  
The Party Central (at night)  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are sleeping. Well, most of them are sleeping)  
  
(SCOTT is standing outside JEAN'S balcony)  
  
*ONE SONG (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
One Song  
  
I have but one song  
  
One song  
  
Only for you  
  
One heart  
  
Tenderly beating  
  
Ever entreating  
  
Constant and true  
  
One love  
  
That has possessed me  
  
One love  
  
Thrilling me through  
  
One song  
  
My heart keeps singing  
  
Of one love  
  
Only for you  
  
(A lamp is telekinetically flung at SCOTT'S head)  
  
JEAN'S VOICE:  
  
Scott, for God's sake, shut up!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Okay honey! Are you sure you don't want me to recite all the 152 sonnets of Shakespeare for you?  
  
(A dressing table is telekinetically flung at SCOTT'S head)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(TODD'S dreamsequence)  
  
(TODD is on a mountain singing)  
  
*GO THE DISTANCE (Hercules)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
I have often dreamed  
  
Of a far-off place  
  
Where a great warm welcome  
  
Will be waiting for me  
  
Where the crowds will cheer  
  
When they see my face  
  
And a voice keeps saying  
  
This is where I'm meant to be  
  
I will find my way  
  
I can go the distance  
  
I'll be there someday  
  
If I can be strong  
  
I know ev'ry mile  
  
Will be worth my while  
  
I would go most anywhere  
  
to feel like I belong  
  
I am on my way  
  
I can go the distance  
  
I don't care how far  
  
Somehow I'll be strong  
  
I know ev'ry mile  
  
Will be worth my while  
  
I would go most anywhere  
  
to find where I belong  
  
(Suddenly a huge bottle of showergel falls from the sky)  
  
TODD:  
  
AAAAAAH!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(KURT'S dream flashback. The whole MYSTIQUE -dumping-him-in-the-river- thing)  
  
(MYSTIQUE runs away from MAGNETO'S flying kitties of DOOM!) (A/N: What? You can't just say "doom", you have to say DOOM!", it won't work any other way)  
  
(MYSTIQUE manages to shake the kitties of DOOM! from her tail and we get a nice motherly moment)  
  
*RIVER LULLABY (Prince of Egypt)*  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
Hush now, my baby  
  
Be still, love, don't cry  
  
Sleep as you're rocked by the stream  
  
Sleep and remember my last lullaby  
  
So I'll be with you when you dream  
  
River, o river  
  
Flow gently for me  
  
Such precious cargo you bear  
  
Do you know somewhere  
  
he can live free?  
  
River, deliver him there...  
  
(MYSTIQUE puts ultra-kawaii BABY-KURT in a basket, which floats away in the extermely dangerous looking river)  
  
KURT:  
  
AAAAAH!  
  
(KURT wakes up, with TODD next to him)  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd, I zought you vere going to sleep in your room tonight.  
  
TODD:  
  
I was, yo. But I had a wicked bad-ass nightmare.  
  
KURT:  
  
Aww. You poor zing.  
  
(Cute cuddling ensues)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(ROGUE'S dreamsequence)  
  
(ROGUE wanders around a very peculiar place. A place that somehow seems familiar)  
  
*ONCE UPON A DECEMBER (Anastasia)*  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
Dancing bears,  
  
Painted wings,  
  
Things I almost remember,  
  
And a song someone sings  
  
Once upon a December.  
  
Someone holds me safe and warm.  
  
Horses prance through a silver storm.  
  
Figures dancing gracefully  
  
Across my memory  
  
Someone holds me safe and warm   
  
Horses prance through a silver storm   
  
Figures dancing gracefully  
  
Across my memory...  
  
Far away, long ago,  
  
Glowing dim as an ember,  
  
Things my heart  
  
Used to know,  
  
Things it yearns to remember...  
  
And a song  
  
Someone sings  
  
Once upon a December  
  
(ROGUE wakes up)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh shit... The past has returned.  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
Author's Note: Oooh, Rogue's past. What shall we find out? What secrets shall be revealed? You'll just have to keep reading, cause I ain't telling. Neener neener neener! 


	8. Scene 8 How To Brake Up A Couple

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Honestly, quit bothering me! It's not mine!  
  
Author's Note: I'm so sorry (grovel grovel)! I've just been so busy lately and then there's that damn writer's block...  
  
SCENE 8-How to brake up a couple and make nailpolish last longer  
  
The Party Central  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P are leaving for school)  
  
KURT:  
  
Where's all ze breakfast?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Sorry, Kurt. You're like, too late.  
  
KURT:  
  
Is zere any food left?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
None. Someone needs to go to the store.  
  
KURT:  
  
Nothing? Not even sugar?  
  
FRED:  
  
Pietro had all the sugar.  
  
ALL:  
  
WHAT!?  
  
FRED:  
  
I guess I should've stoped him.  
  
(PIETRO runs in and he's on the sugarhigh of the century)  
  
*I'VE GOTTA CROW (Peter Pan)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Not me,  
  
It's just that I am what I am  
  
And I'm me!  
  
When I look at myself  
  
And I see in myself  
  
All the wonderful things that I see  
  
If I'm pleased with myself  
  
I have ev'ry good reason to be.  
  
I've gotta crow!  
  
I'm just the cleverest fellow  
  
'Twas ever my fortune to know;  
  
I taught a trick to my shadow  
  
To stick to the tip of my toe  
  
I've gotta crow!  
  
I've gotta brag!  
  
I think it's sweet  
  
I have fingers and feet I can wiggle and wag.  
  
I can climb trees and play tag with the breeze  
  
In the meadows below  
  
I've gotta crow!  
  
If I were a very ordinary  
  
Ev'ry day thing,  
  
I'd never be heard cock-a-doodling  
  
'Round like a bird!  
  
So Naturally  
  
When I discover the cleverness of a remarkable me,  
  
How can I hide it  
  
When deep down inside it just tickles me so  
  
That I've gotta let go and crow!  
  
I'm really a rare thing,  
  
Such a fair thing,  
  
I can't keep still!  
  
I'm bursting with pride  
  
And I just couldn't keep it inside  
  
If I tried so...  
  
Naturally  
  
When I discover the cleverness of a remarkable me,  
  
How can I hide it  
  
When deep down inside it just tickles me so  
  
That I've gotta let go and crow!  
  
(PIETRO runs off, heading towards the nearest sugarplantation I presume)  
  
(KURT falls down on the floor and starts to cry)  
  
KURT:  
  
Vaah! I need food!  
  
TODD:  
  
Aww, don't worry yo. I'll go beat up some kid for his lunch.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Hey! I found some like, wheatseeds.  
  
KURT:  
  
I'm not a pigeon!  
  
LANCE:  
  
That's all we have for now. But I'll go buy some peoplefood after school. Okay?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Lance, you're like, so caring and still so rugged and dangerous.  
  
(LANCE and KITTY start to make out)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yield the facesucking my friends! School awaits!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P, exept PIETRO leave)  
  
(KURT looks around and then stuffs his face full of seeds)  
  
KURT:  
  
It's just not ze same.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
After school at the MegaFood-store  
  
(LANCE, carrying a six-feet long list, is buyng about a truckload of food)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Next I need... hm... wasabi. Wasabi? Who of us could use it?  
  
(LANCE bumps into... MARY-SUE)  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh, I am so very sorry! How could I do such a terrible thing?!  
  
LANCE:  
  
It's okay. Really, it's not a big deal.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
How can you forgive this unthinkable act of mine?  
  
LANCE:  
  
Uh...  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Let me help you. I shall do most anything!  
  
LANCE:  
  
You could help me get some wasabi.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh, but wasabi has caused me so much pain in the past! I cannot!  
  
LANCE:  
  
How can wasabi cause you pain?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I once put too much of it on my maki, it was so horrifying...  
  
LANCE:  
  
Okay. Well, I'll just find it myself.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
No wait! I must get over my fear of wasabi. I shall aid in your quest!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(After wandering around, LANCE and MARY-SUE have wound the wasabi and are leaving the store)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Thanks for the help.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
No, it is I who should be thanking you. You showed me I could conquer my fears.  
  
*WHEN YOU BELIEVE (Prince of Egypt)*  
  
*MARY-SUE*  
  
Many nights I've prayed  
  
With no hope anyone could hear.  
  
In my heart a hopeful song I barely understood.  
  
Now I am not afraid  
  
Although I know there's much to fear.  
  
I was moving mountains long before I knew I could.  
  
There can be miracles when you believe.  
  
Though hope is frail,it's hard to kill.  
  
Who knows what miracles you can achieve  
  
When you believe.  
  
Somehow you will,  
  
You will when you believe.  
  
In this time of fear,  
  
When prayer so often proved in vain,  
  
Hope seemed like the summer birds  
  
so swiftly flown away.  
  
But now I'm standing here  
  
With heart so full I can't explain  
  
Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'd say.  
  
There can be miracles when you believe.  
  
Though hope is frail,it's hard to kill.  
  
Who knows what miracles you can achieve  
  
When you believe.  
  
Somehow you will,  
  
You will when you believe.  
  
(Those pretty colourfull light appear again, making MARY-SUE look even more angelic then before, if it's possible)  
  
LANCE:  
  
You've got a great voice.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
How kind of you to say so. Lance...  
  
LANCE:  
  
Yeah?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I... I...Love you.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Oh. Marvelous...  
  
(LANCE and MARY-SUE kiss)  
  
(Just then KITTY comes to see what the hell is taking LANCE so long with the shopping)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, gasp! You bastard!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Kitty-Kat?  
  
KITTY:  
  
I like, hate you so much right now. I like, like, like, like... Aargh! I can't even come up with the right word!  
  
(KITTY storms away)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Kitty!  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Let her go, beloved.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Okay!  
  
(Making out ensues)  
  
Author's Note: That evil Mary-Sue, I hate her. Anyway, I thought that that Peter Pan song would be perfect for Pietro, so I just had to put it there. I hope, I'll have time to update a bit sooner next time. Till then, farewell! 


	9. Scene 9 The Latest Loveaffairs

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Honestly, quit bothering me! It's not mine!  
  
Author's Note: Yet again I'M SO SORRY!! It's not really my fault, the computer has been acting up lately. I think dad's going to buy a new hard- drive for. I say we should get a whole new computer, but oh well... I hope this thing (computer) won't be tilting for a while, so that I can work on these over-due updates during my Christmass-vacation. Hope people, hope hard...  
  
On a sidenote, since some of you must've wandered what wasabi and maki are, I'll enlighten you a little. Wasabi is this green, spicy goo used in sushi and maki in one type of sushi (the one with seaweed on it, and actually there are many different kinds of makis).  
  
Now, back to the fic!  
  
SCENE 9- The Latest Loveaffairs  
  
The Party Central  
  
(KITTY storms in)  
  
KITTY:  
  
AAAARHG!!!  
  
(JEAN enters)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Is something wrong?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Oh, what in the world would make you think that?!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, you're sort of giving me these angry vibes.  
  
KITTY:  
  
That shithole Lance kissed the new girl!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Marvelous?  
  
KITTY:  
  
No, it's not marvelous. It's a friggin' catastrophe! My whole lovelife has gone down a fucking toilet!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Oh dear, you haven't said "like" for many lines now. Maybe you should go to bed for a while.  
  
KITTY:  
  
I'm not going into the cesspool of linen where I gave my virginity to that monkeyfeces for a brain!  
  
(JEAN backs away very carefully)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Heh. Scott! Get the tranquilizer!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later, after KITTY has gotten enough tranquilizer to kill an elephant...  
  
(ROGUE is sitting by a window, sighing)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Sigh.  
  
(KITTY and JEAN appear at the door)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Did we just hear a forlorn sigh?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
No.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Somebody's in love.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Somebody's gonna be dead soon.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Could this all be about a certain witch?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I swear, one day I'm going to become a bad guy and kill you.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Aww. Our Rogy's in love with Wanda.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Did say anything pointing to that? Cause I don't think I did.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Come on, even I can like, see what's going on.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh boy.  
  
*I WON'T SAY I'M IN LOVE (Hercules)*  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
  
I guess I've already won that  
  
No one is worth the aggravation  
  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
  
She's the Earth and heaven to you  
  
Try to keep it hidden  
  
Honey, we can see right through you  
  
Girl, ya can't conceal it  
  
We know how ya feel and  
  
Who you're thinking of  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
No chance, no way  
  
I won't say it, no, no  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
You swoon, you sigh  
  
why deny it, uh-oh  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
It's too cliche  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
  
It feels so good when you start out  
  
My head is screaming get a grip, girl  
  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
  
Oh  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
You keep on denying  
  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
  
Baby, we're not buying  
  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
  
Face it like a grown-up  
  
When ya gonna own up  
  
That ya got, got, got it bad  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
No chance, now way  
  
I won't say it, no, no  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
Give up, give in  
  
Check the grin you're in love  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
This scene won't play,  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
You're doin flips read our lips  
  
You're in love  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
You're way off base  
  
I won't say it  
  
Get off my case  
  
I won't say it  
  
*JEAN and KITTY*  
  
Girl, don't be proud  
  
It's O.K. you're in love  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
Oh  
  
At least out loud,  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
KITTY:  
  
Grouphug!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Keep away from me!  
  
(ROGUE runs off)  
  
KITTY:  
  
That's like, so cute.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Our unique rebel is growing up.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In a hallway  
  
(ROGUE runs into WANDA)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh, sorry.  
  
WANDA:  
  
No problem, I like getting concussions. Why were runing?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
It just seemed approriate.  
  
WANDA:  
  
For what?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Kitty tryed to hug me.  
  
WANDA:  
  
Good reason. I'm not into to all that touchy feely stuff either.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Yeah. But you don't kill people if you touch them.  
  
WANDA:  
  
I could, if I was angry enough.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Sometimes I might actually like to cuddle with someone.  
  
WANDA:  
  
You know, there might be a way to do that.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
How?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Well, I could use my incredibly confusing powers to make that happen.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Are you sure?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Think about it this way, if it doesn't work and I die, then I don't have waste my time by hating everything. And if it does work, then hurray!  
  
* A WHOLE NEW WORLD (Aladdin)*  
  
*WANDA*  
  
I can show you the world  
  
Shining, shimmering, splendid  
  
Tell me, princess, now when did  
  
You last let your heart decide  
  
I can open your eyes  
  
Take you wonder by wonder  
  
Over, sideways, and under  
  
On a magic carpet ride  
  
A whole new world  
  
A new fantastic point of view  
  
No one to tell us no  
  
Or where to go  
  
Or say we're only dreaming  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
A whole new world  
  
A dazzling place I never knew  
  
But when I'm way up here  
  
It's crystal clear  
  
That now I'm in a whole new world  
  
With you  
  
Unbelievable sights  
  
Indescribable feeling  
  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
  
Through an endless diamond sky  
  
A whole new world A hundred thousand things to see  
  
I'm like a shooting star,  
  
I've come so far  
  
I can't go back to where I used to be  
  
*BOTH*  
  
A whole new world  
  
Every turn a surprize  
  
With new horrizons to pursue  
  
Every moment gets better  
  
I'll chase them anywhere,  
  
there's time to spare,  
  
let me share this whole new world with you  
  
A whole new world  
  
That's where we'll be  
  
A thrilling chase  
  
A wonderous place  
  
For you and me  
  
(Making out ensues, complete with brilliant fireworks ala Wanda)  
  
(PIETRO enters and stars to sing)  
  
*BEAUTY AND THE BEAST/ROGY AND THE WITCH (Beauty and the Beast)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Tale as old as time  
  
True as it can be  
  
Barely even friends  
  
Then somebody bends  
  
Unexpectedly.  
  
Just a little change  
  
Small to say the least  
  
Both a little scared  
  
Neither one prepared  
  
Rogy and the Witch.  
  
Ever just the same  
  
Ever a surprise  
  
Ever as before  
  
Ever just as sure  
  
As the sun will rise.  
  
Tale as old as time  
  
Tune as old as song  
  
Bittersweet and strange  
  
Finding you can change  
  
Learning you were wrong.  
  
Certain as the sun  
  
Rising in the east  
  
Tale as old as time  
  
Song as old as rhyme  
  
Rogy and the Witch.  
  
Tale as old as time  
  
Song as old as rhyme  
  
Rogy and the Witch.  
  
(WANDA shoots at PIETRO)  
  
WANDA:  
  
Get lost you little perv!  
  
Author's Note: Heh. I just really wanted to put that last song somewhere. Okay, so provided that the computer is cooperative during the holidays, we'll see again soon. And sorry one more time. 


	10. Scene 10 Vacuuming And Plotting

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Okay! If someone still thinks I own this stuff, get a brain!  
  
Author's Note: Man do I feel weird. I've been watching Ginga Nagareboshi Gin (Silverfang) non-stop for days. The name may not mean anything to you, unless you're raelly into anime/manga, or a Finn... But all those dogs, all those bears, all that pathos... It has a really odd effect on you... Confused? Yuo'll soon see what I mean...  
  
SCENE 10- Vacuuming and Plotting  
  
The Party Central  
  
(KURT jumps around)  
  
KURT:  
  
It's nearly Chritsmass! It's nearly Christmass!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Kurt, will you stop spreading your fur everywhere!  
  
KURT:  
  
Aaav. But I vish to spread out ze joyous gift of ze fuzzy one.  
  
JEAN:  
  
You can go and spread out the gift of vacuuming.  
  
(JEAN holds out a vacuum cleaner)  
  
KURT:  
  
Put zat away from me! Vacuums are dangerous!  
  
JEAN:  
  
You have to get over your fear of vacuum cleaners allready. They won't eat you.  
  
KURT:  
  
How can you be so sure? Zey're so loud and zey suck in fur. Zey're evil! Evil! Evil! Evil!  
  
JEAN:  
  
(sigh) Okay then. I'll have to do the vacuuming and cooking and everything else here. Why am I the only perfect person in the world?  
  
(JEAN strats the vacuum cleaner up)  
  
KURT:  
  
AAAAAH! It's alive!  
  
(KURT bamfs away)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(KURT bamfs into his room)  
  
KURT:  
  
I'm going to have such nightmares from zat ordeal.  
  
(TODD walks in)  
  
TODD:  
  
Did I hear you scream, yo?  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, Jean had vacuum cleaner.  
  
TODD:  
  
Oh. Haven't you told, that you're afraid of those things?  
  
KURT:  
  
I've tried, but zey don't understand. Even ze Professor laughed at me.  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, I understand. It's the same thing with me and anything hygienic.  
  
(TODD gives KURT a hug)  
  
KURT:  
  
You're ze best Todd.  
  
TODD:  
  
What can I say, yo? When you're right, you're right. See ya downstairs in a while?  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja. Ve can cuddle and vatch re-runs of Queer as Folk.  
  
TODD:  
  
Or skip all that and get it on.  
  
KURT:  
  
You're such a romantic fool.  
  
(TODD exits)  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd is vonderfull. And to zink zat less zan two months ago ve hated eachother. Makes no sence, does it? But I love it, non ze less.  
  
* HEAVEN'S LIGHT (Hunchback of Notre Dame)*  
  
*KURT*  
  
So many times out here  
  
I've vatched a happy pair  
  
Of lovers valking in ze night  
  
Zey had a kind of glow around zem  
  
It almost looked like heaven's light  
  
I knew I'd never know  
  
Zat varm and loving glow  
  
Zough I might vish vith all my might  
  
No face as hideous as my face  
  
Vas never meant for heaven's light  
  
But suddenly an angel has smiled at me  
  
And kissed my cheek vithout a trace of fright  
  
I dare to dream zat he  
  
Vill always care for me  
  
And as I sing zis song tonight  
  
Zis cold dark mansion seems so bright  
  
I swear it must be heaven's light  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later downstairs  
  
(TODD and KURT are at eactothers arms)  
  
TODD:  
  
You, I've bee having having these weird dreams for a while.  
  
KURT:  
  
What kind of dreams?  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, sometimes I'm in this big-ass Soud of Music landscape. Now, normally I wouldn't care for anything like that, but right then and there the place seems real cool. And sometimes I'm with these people, I don't know any of them, but they're nice to me and they make me feel the way you make me feel.  
  
KURT:  
  
Horny?  
  
TODD:  
  
No. Like happy and wanted, yo.  
  
*DISTAND MELODY (Peter Pan)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
Once upon a time and long ago  
  
I heard someone singing  
  
Soft and low  
  
Now when day is done  
  
And night is near  
  
I recall this song I used to hear  
  
My child, my very own,  
  
Don't be afraid, you're not alone  
  
Sleep until the dawn  
  
For all is well  
  
Long ago this song was sung to me  
  
Now it's just a distant melody  
  
Somewhere from the past I used to know  
  
Once upon a time  
  
And long ago...  
  
KURT:  
  
Nobody else makes you feel zat vay?  
  
TODD:  
  
Nah. I never knew my parents, I've been on my own for as long as I can remember.  
  
KURT:  
  
Sort of like me.  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, at least you know your mother.  
  
KURT:  
  
Yeah. But she's a psycho-bitch from Hell. Not exactly a dream-mom. You know, maybe you should talk to Rogue. She's used to having veird dreams.  
  
TODD:  
  
You don't think she'll kill me?  
  
KURT:  
  
Not if she's in a good mood.  
  
TODD:  
  
I'll think about it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
At Bayville High  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
I have waited long enough. Where is she?  
  
(MARY-SUE enters)  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
You called?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes? Where have you bee young lady?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I was wooing my beloved Lance.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Why?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
You told me that I must break The X-Factored Group of Non-Drinking Aged Pro- Diversity Super Persons apart. So, I shall cause a fight within the group and thus destroy them.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Brillaint! With The X-Factored Group of Non-Drinking Aged Pro-Diversity Super Persons at eactothers throats, I'll defeat my enemies! AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
There is but one thing that may stop us. If the group is bonded too closely, they shall overcome their disputes and with their combined powers they will triumph over us.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
No! Not after the many minutes of plotting I have done!  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
You should call on the mob.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
It won't work. Christmass is coming and now they're only interested in looting stores. There has to be a way...  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I could use my omnipotent powers to summon unrealistically big bears here and have them blindly attack the Institute.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
That plan is just crazy enough to work. Very well. Mary-Sue, call forth the bears!  
  
Author's Note: By the gods! This cannot be! Will we be seeing the culmination of the author's insanity? Maybe. Ye have been duly warned, for the next chapter shall be full of confusion and hormone-crazed, giant- bears! Oh the amount of Ginga! 


	11. Scene 11 Kichigai Kuma de Yuki

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I shan't say anything.  
  
Author's Note: Here it is people, the proof of what happens when you've been staring at the same anime for years! The awesome parodic quality of Ginga Nagareboshi Gin's final, great, big-ass battle!  
  
SCENE 11- Kichigai Kuma de Yuki (Mad Bears in the Snow)  
  
The Party Central  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are having yet another meeting)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Okay team-  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Look! It's snowing outside!  
  
ALL:  
  
Ooooh!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Let's go and frolic in the snow!  
  
KITTY:  
  
I'm like, never going to frolic with you, you man-whore.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Kitty, please...  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, no.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
People, try and not to kill eachother right before Christmass, or whatever holiday you might want to celebrate. (A/N: Am I the only one who thinks tha Kitty might be Jewish, cause there was a menorra (or is it a minorra?) in the image of Kitty with her family at Christmass?)  
  
WANDA:  
  
What good is Christmass if you don't at least attempt to kill someone?  
  
JEAN:  
  
I don't know what they did at the nuthouse, but here we don't kill people. Think about our ratings.  
  
WANDA:  
  
Dammit.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I say that we should go forth and frolic in the snow. Come on team!  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. exit)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Outside The Party Central  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. frolic in the snow) (A/N: I like that word)  
  
KURT:  
  
Eeev. Something smells like bear-poo.  
  
TODD:  
  
It ain't me, yo.  
  
(Suddenly, a four GIANT-BEARS run in, growling and looking very pisst off)  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAARH!  
  
MUTANTS:  
  
AAAAAH!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. magically ens up at the roof of the Institute)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
How did we get up here?  
  
FRED:  
  
At least we're safe from those bears.  
  
(One of the GIANT-BEARS smashes off a goodly portion of the roof)  
  
FRED:  
  
Okay, maybe not.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You cursed bears! I'll kill you!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott, what's wrong?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Those bears killed my parents.  
  
KURT:  
  
I zought your parents died in a plane-crash.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
The bears were bombing the plane! I will revenge my parent's death! Do you hear me you damned bears!  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAARH!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
This is getting really, really, really weird.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
My friends, now is the time for the great battle! We must do this for my parents and all the lingonberries of North-America!  
  
(Silence)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We do not fight to die, but survive! Attack!  
  
(SCOTT runs around the roof, howling)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I don't know if I should be laughing or weting myself.  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, we can't let those bears break down the house. That's our job, yo.  
  
KURT:  
  
Yeah! Lets do this!  
  
(Heroic posing and anime-like angry staring ensues)  
  
Author's Note: Ooh, the suspense! I'm not going to do this epic battle in one chapter, no sir. Wait until the next mind-boggling continuation! 


	12. Scene 12 Bear Begone

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Still not talking.  
  
Author's Note: Hope you all had a pleasing holiday-period, complete with excessive eating and gift-un-wrapping. But, now that's in the past and I'm back to haunt you once more with my fic. AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
SCENE 12- Bear Begone  
  
Where we left off...  
  
(SCOTT is still runing around the roof howling, while the others stand there looking perplexed)  
  
FRED:  
  
Sooo. How do we fight them?  
  
KITTY:  
  
I could like- No wait, they're not robots, are they?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
NO!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Just like, asking.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, we can't just stand here looking perplexed.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Right then! Earth tremor!  
  
JEAN:  
  
No Lance! If you do it here it'll destroy the house.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Shit. I need to get off the roof. Kurt?  
  
KURT:  
  
I'm not some kind of taxi!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Kurt, please take Lance down.  
  
KURT:  
  
Now zat's more like it. All I ask for are some manners.  
  
(KURT bamfs LANCE to the ground)  
  
KURT:  
  
Right, zat'll be 3,25 plus tip.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Really funny. Now... Earth tremor!  
  
(Two of the GIANT BEARS falls down)  
  
(KURT bamfs LANCE back to the roof)  
  
WANDA:  
  
I don't think that making them trip is going to stop them.  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAAARH!  
  
WANDA:  
  
Don't interrupt me! Sparkles of mayhem!  
  
(WANDA'S nice and shiny hexbolts hit the nearest GIANT-BEAR)  
  
GIANT-BEAR:  
  
RAAAARH!  
  
(The MUTANTS seem shocked, JEAN nearly faints)  
  
TODD:  
  
My God! That has got to be the worts thing I've ever heard, yo!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You filthy bear, I'll rip your mouth off for that!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Kill them!  
  
KURT:  
  
Tear zem apart!  
  
FRED:  
  
Send them to Hell!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
What? "Send them to Hell"?  
  
FRED:  
  
Hey, this is an anime-spoof, I can say stuff like that.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Right.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Onwards my friends! Attack!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. attack)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Blasting glance of destruction!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Speeding fury!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Penetrating surge!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Earth tremor!  
  
TODD:  
  
Amphibian kick!  
  
WANDA:  
  
Sparkles of mayhem!  
  
KURT:  
  
Tailwhip!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Hit of brilliance!  
  
(Lots of bearblood goes flying everywhere)  
  
KITTY:  
  
EEEEEEW! I'm like, covered in bearblood! It so doesn't suit me!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I think I'm going to be sick.  
  
JEAN:  
  
This proofs it. Graphic battles, even in animations, are not a pretty thing to see.  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAAAAAAARH!  
  
TODD:  
  
They're still alive, yo?  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAAAARH!  
  
KURT:  
  
Sure looks like zat.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I'll take care of them.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Rogue no!  
  
(ROGUE runs at the GIANT-BEARS)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Power ab-!  
  
(One of the GIANT-BEARS is about to make ROGUE into a Southern pancake, when something airfilled and anatomicaly correct flies through the air)  
  
MUTANTS:  
  
GASP!  
  
(Yes! It's GABRIEL, ROGUE'S trusty blow-updoll)  
  
GABRIEL:  
  
POP!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
NO! GABRIEL!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
That is the most heroic thing I've ever seen.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
(sob) Why Gabriel? Why did you do it? WHY!?  
  
WANDA (hugging ROGUE):  
  
It's okay Rogy, he's in a better place now.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Fucking bears! I'll kill you!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We will not let Gabriel's sacrifice be in vain. We will win. Oh yes, we will WIN! Do you hear me bears!  
  
GIANT-BEARS:  
  
RAAAAAAAAAARH!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I haven't forgotten you or what you did to my father. Tonight his death will be avenged! You'll pay for with your lifes!  
  
*ON MY FATHER'S WINGS (Quest For Camelot)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
If you were with me now  
  
I'd find myself in you  
  
If you were with me now  
  
Your the only one who knew  
  
All the things we planned to do  
  
I want to live my life  
  
The way you said I would  
  
With courage as my light  
  
Fighting for what's right  
  
Like you made me believe I could  
  
And I will fly on my father's wings  
  
To places I have never been  
  
There is so much I've never seen  
  
And I can feel his heartbeat still  
  
And I will do great things  
  
On my father's wings  
  
This world I'll never see  
  
My dreams that just won't be  
  
This horse's stride  
  
with one days ride  
  
Will have covered more  
  
distance than me  
  
But I will fly on my father's wings  
  
To places I have never been  
  
There is so much I've never seen  
  
And I can feel his heartbeat still  
  
And I will do great things  
  
On my father's wings  
  
Someday with his spirit to guide me  
  
And his memory beside me  
  
I will be free to  
  
Fly on my father's wings  
  
To places I have never been  
  
There is so much I've never seen  
  
And I can feel his heartbeat still  
  
And I will do great things  
  
On my father's wings  
  
On my father's wings  
  
(SCOTT jumps high in the air)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Father, guide me! Zetsu Tenrou Batto-!  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
STOP! Could I make one thing clear Alter-Ego?  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
What?  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
I'm able to understand the whole GNG-parody here. Hell, I like it as much as anyone. But you are not using the Zetsu Tenrou Battoga! That's crossing the line. Try to keep with format okay?  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
(snigger) You said Cross... Okay then.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Blasting glance of destruction!  
  
(Even more bearblood flies around)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yes! I've done it! The giant-bears are dead!  
  
EVERYONE:  
  
Hurray!  
  
Author's Note: Boy, that was a violent chappy. Though I'm sure can do better then that, but then we'd need to raise the ratings. In the next chapter a surprise! Ooooh! 


	13. Scene 13 A Certain Spice

Not Again!-The Musical Sequel by. Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: (Angry glare)  
  
Author's Note: Okay, okay. I know I've been away for... Well, a long time. School has been me keeping immensely busy (not to mention all the wacky adventures with our new wireless mouse). But now I'm done with it so that I can finish off this fic.  
  
SCENE 13 A Certain Spice  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. stand in the front lawn looking at very smelly corpes of the GIANT-BEARS)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Ugh! Like, that smells even worse than Todd!  
  
TODD:  
  
What are mocking me for, yo? I took a bath last week.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Seriously, what are we going to do these? Scott?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Finally, it is over. After years of pain, hatred and shame I have avenged my father and won! Hear me my friends! We have won!  
  
JEAN:  
  
We know that dear. But we're a little concerned about these rotting bear- corpses.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Now we shall feast on the flesh of my enemies!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott? Hello?  
  
(SCOTT is crying out of happiness)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
He's flipped, hasn't he?  
  
JEAN:  
  
NO! He is just under a lot of emotional pressure.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My lungs are under a lot of pressure from this smell!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Look on the bright side. At least the bears aren't trying to kill us anymore.  
  
(One of the GIANT-BEARS gets up)  
  
WANDA:  
  
You just had to jinx it.  
  
LANCE:  
  
That bear should be dead!  
  
KITTY:  
  
It sure doesn't look dead to me, you filthy shit-eater!  
  
KURT:  
  
Is zehe no vay to kill it!?  
  
TODD:  
  
Kurt lets run inside to make love one last time, before the bear gets us!  
  
KURT:  
  
I don't feel like doing it right after I've just wet myself.  
  
TODD:  
  
Ew! Ditto. I may be kinda dirty, but not that dirty, yo.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We're doomed! There is no earthly way to kill this demonic hell-bear!  
  
(Suddenly, REMY appears)  
  
REMY:  
  
I beg to differ.  
  
EVERYONE:  
  
Remy!?  
  
REMY:  
  
Oui. Who were you expecting?  
  
JEAN:  
  
No-one really.  
  
REMY:  
  
Well, I'm 'ere now. And as I was saying, dere is a way to kill dat bear.  
  
FRED:  
  
How?  
  
REMY:  
  
So glad you asked. Anyone with de right knowledge on giant-demonic-hell- bears knows, dat de best way to kill one is to cut of it's 'ead.  
  
LANCE:  
  
It's Ed? That thing has an Ed?  
  
REMY:  
  
'EAD! IT'S FUCKING 'EAD! (sigh) I'll just do it.  
  
(REMY uses his ever-handy cards to cut of the GIANT-BEARS head, which flies straight on to SCOTT'S shiny red car)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Oh! You meant it's HEAD.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
My car! (confused) Whoa! Where have I been?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Laa-Laa-land is too mild an expression for where you've been for the last hour or so.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Weird, I remember something about bears and a vendetta, but... Oh my God, my car! Remy? My car and- EW! Whats that smell?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Remy, since you knew the way to kill the bears, you wouldn't happen to know a way to get rid of the bodies?  
  
REMY:  
  
Actually, Remy does know of a way. You must leave de remains for de noble 'erd of wild-dogs!  
  
(A pack of about 400 Japanese WILD-DOGS show up)  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
(hysteric) IT'S GIN!!! I'm gonna faint! (squeal)  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
Will you get a grib!?  
  
WANDA:  
  
I suggest we go indoors before those dogs eat us, or before Scott decides to join the pack.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Good idea.  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. and REMY go in)  
  
(While the WILD-DOGS gnaw away at the GIANT-BEARS, our heros try make sense of things)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Not that we don't appreciate you coming here and saving us and all, but why are you here?  
  
REMY:  
  
Simple. I am bored with de Acolites.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
How? You once told me it's the best time you've ever had.  
  
REMY:  
  
Beeing in de Acolites is sort of like beeing drunk. First you 'ave a great time, but de next day you wake up with a 'ang-over. So, when I woke up from my Acolite-'ang-over a few days ago I just said...  
  
I'M LOOKING OUT FOR ME (Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar)  
  
REMY  
  
Dat's it!  
  
I've had it!  
  
I 'ate to be dramatic,  
  
But it's time for me to fly de coop  
  
Terrific!  
  
Fine!  
  
I'm drawin' de line  
  
Before I wind up in a cajun soup!  
  
I was a fool to let you run de show  
  
I'm cuttin' ya loose, pal!  
  
Look out below!  
  
Arrividerci!  
  
C'est la vie!  
  
'ope all goes well!  
  
I'm lookin' out for me!  
  
Okay! I'm little,  
  
Been playin' tank and fiddle,  
  
And I don't get no respect  
  
I turn de other cheek,  
  
But dis busted beak  
  
Is de only thanks dat I get!  
  
I never found a friend dat I can trust  
  
Dey promise caviar,  
  
And leave me eatin' dust!  
  
Dat's some reward for loyalty  
  
From 'ere on in,  
  
I'm lookin' out for me!  
  
Oh, I don't need nobody else  
  
I'll never fail  
  
I'll cover my own tail  
  
I can take care of myself!  
  
You know, it just don't pay  
  
To give a 'oot  
  
I'm givin' all my 'eart  
  
What do I get?  
  
Da boot!  
  
I'm through wit' dat,  
  
I'm flappin' free  
  
From 'ere on in,  
  
I'm lookin' out for me!  
  
REMY:  
  
Et voilá, I became an indipendent knave. The last days I've busied myself by throwing dog-poo at de mob.  
  
KURT:  
  
Zat's a stupid story. Tell a better one!  
  
WANDA:  
  
And who uses a word like knave?  
  
REMY:  
  
Remy does, because Remy is eccentric and talks about 'inself in de third form.  
  
FRED:  
  
Great, as if we don't have enough nut-cases around...  
  
Author's Note: Bet you didn't guess I was gonna do something like that, did you? Or well, maybe you did... Anyway, there are still lots of surprises to come and some of them aren't as predictable as Remy. 


End file.
